If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
