I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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