I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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