you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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