and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm jealous of your bromance
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
