Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
