He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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