is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
