What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
