But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
