Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Of course I have a pirate flag
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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