If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
