Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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