so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
