And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
