God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
