I puked a lego.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
