My nipple is on Facebook.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
