Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
