all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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