The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
