Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
