Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
