Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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