Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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