My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
