I faked an abortion last night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
