This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
