is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize