I'm going to jail i love you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
