I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
