You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
