How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize