a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
as a side note pls kill me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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