He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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