I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
