I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
