Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
did i just pee glitter
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
