You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
