tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Randomize
