You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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