Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
