and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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