She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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