no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
