just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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