apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize