I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize