Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
