i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
