i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Pants are for mortals
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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