Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
