I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
