Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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