Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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