Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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