Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I CAN MOONWALK!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She told me I should be a condom model.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dick very happy bro
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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